Patience

It can't be done. It's...fucking impossible. Something prevented me from dying.

Something.

Finality

I'm done. This is over. No more ever again.

location unidentified

IF YOU ARE ALIVE
YOU WILL REGRET YOUR CHOICE

YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM
BUT YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US

WE ARE NOT ONE OF YOU
WE ARE NOT HUMAN

THERE HAVE BEEN MANY
YOU ARE BUT ONE

1912
2012

Tunnel

I do not remember the events in this video.


I just woke up on my front doorstep, my bike fallen over in the yard.
The last thing I remember was fiddling with my camera on September 24.

I see a few notes lying around. I am assuming I found the tunnel seen in pictures I've posted a while back. Nothing good came of finding it.

The pauses in the video are not something I added, it was all on the camera when I checked it.


Now that I think some more, I remember one thing, a shadow. It spoke to me. And told me something... I was probably seeing things again. Or it may not have happened at all.

MyNAME is Austin Wolllllllllllllllllllllllfe if anyone finds me if anyone finds this listen to me you need to get out its here they're both here and I don't know how much longer I can stay awake it hurtsssssssssssssssssssssssssssswhat why come on not now god damn it turn on fucking batteryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

you are alive

wake up
wake up
wake up
austin
ustin
stin
tin
in
n wolfe

we want to play
a g a m e w i t h y o u

can
you
see
me?
can
you
see
him?

adam played the same game
and all the ones before him

you
are
alive
only by
choice

so wake up austin
youve had your rest

the shadow waits
/\
\/

Vision Testing

Apologies for the time between posts. I've been trying my damnedest to prove a theory I've had since my last update. Time spent trying to sleep in front of the camera, or just recording myself while I sleep, but I finally got it to happen. I guess it's not something that I can make happen on que.



This is a few clips of video from last night. I did not add the overlay in the last part, that just appeared.

It's what I was thinking. Visions I've been having. Adam wasn't there last week, I just thought he was. But how the fuck did it get on the camera?
There always seems to be a bit of a weird yellow glow when my thoughts go onto the camera, so at least I'll be able to tell what's real and what isn't when I go over footage.

During the day, though, that's not as easy. I question everything I see.

Calling Stacy's house over and over again, hoping she'll answer. Nothing doing.

this isn't possible....is it? i cant be seeing this no no no no no its not real

i can go back another day

Good Morning

I am up way too early. I can't sleep, because I don't feel tired at all.

I'm making the best of it. I'm going to go to Adam's house today while Stacy is away, see if I can find anything, so I've been spending this early morning getting the plan straight, getting my camera charged and ready, stuff like that.
It just seems like this is a bad idea, in the end.

Haven't been having any mental issues lately. At least, not on the scale of what happened a couple weeks ago. Having random nightmares, and I can't usually remember them well.

But anyway, I guess I'll work around for a while and head off to Adam's house. Taking my camera with me, so I'll update if I find anything useful.

Grasping For Straws?

In my complete inability to find the blue thing, I've considered confronting Stacy again. Unfortunately, I've yet to see her again. Her car has been gone every time I try to go over.

So, one of the worst ideas I think I've ever had came to mind: going inside the house while she's gone. It's only been a few months since Adam died, so surely his things are still there, in which case I might be able to find something. Maybe even that book. Hell, with everything that's been going on, Stacy is probably hiding something too.

Don't know when I'll go.

Fond Memories 2

I miss Adam. I really do. I've never had too many friends in my life, and Adam was pretty much the last one. Everyone else just sort of drifted away from me, over time.

Last year, Adam's parents wanted him to help reshingle their roof. He asked for my help, and out of some desire to be there, I said okay.
I am terrified of heights. Any heights. Anything that's not ground level.
It took me an hour or so just to work up the courage to get up there, but once I was up there, I did pretty well. At least until I slipped, and nearly fell off the roof.
It was Adam that caught me before I fell.

The whole thing seems stupid, looking back on it. I bet I looked pretty stupid.

I need to focus myself. For Adam's sake, I need to figure this stuff out.
To do list:
-Find blue thing
-Get battery for phone
-Run last video
-Run last few pictures
-Find house
-Find tunnel

So much to do, and so damn little to go on.

Not How Cameras Work

I'm sorry for spacing out for a while. As my last video shows, I've been quite paranoid ever since that.."person" was here. Ever since, my head's been not quite right.

Still no idea where the codes are coming from, nor do have any idea what the one on top of the last post means. Any help?

As for 8, no clue either. The SD card in Adam's camera is 8GB, but I doubt that means anything.

Surprisingly, after all that's happened, I'm fairly calm now, and if I weren't this calm, the fact that I AM calm would scare the shit out of me. Why am I this calm? I mean...I feel good.

The clips at the end of the 8 video confuse me. If I'm calm about everything else, I am not calm about those. I've been dreaming of those statues, that clip of Adam shouldn't even be on my camera, and well...that last clip shouldn't exist.


Aside from all that, I only have one more video on the camera, and just a few pictures. Can't get any of them to display. With nothing else to go on, no idea where that house is, and little idea where the tunnel could be, I have few leads. The tunnel is really my only shot right now, and still, there are tons of those tunnels around here.

What confuses me even more than the dreams, is that within reason, that house and its surrounding areas (that are visible in the video) should be very close. I can clearly hear my neighbors chickens crowing in the video, which means that it can not be very far, but I cannot for the life of me find that house.
hahahahahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha
So, I guess that's all I got. I guess with a better sense, I can look around for the blue thing. I'm switching on and off between extremely tired and extremely energetic, so if that keeps up, I should find it fairly quick.

i am fine i am okay i am fine i am okay

bWludXMgcXVhdHR1b3I

8 - 4 + 12 / 2 + 2 - (3 + 1) =

Sleep. Need sleep. It switches on and off. Sometimes I may sleep for too long. Sometimes I don't sleep at all. Sometimes I don't want to sleep. Bad dreams.

Drifting in and out. Not getting enough sleep. I start dreaming while I'm awake. I see really strange things. Like dolls and statues of children.

Haven't done much with the shit on the camera lately. Don't want to. That's where all of my fucking problems came from.
I don't want to leave my room to look for the blue thing. Borderline nervous breakdowns just feeding the dogs.

The most I've done lately is screw around in google streetview trying to find the house in the last video. No luck. I hear chickens crowing in the video. It has to be close doesn't it? My neighbors two houses down have chickens. It has to be close.

I hardly see anyone anymore. I usually stay inside, but I just never see anyone. Cars go by, but nobody on foot.

Good news. Need good news. Need sleep, and good news. I have a bit of good news. I think I found the place in the three pictures I posted a while ago. Well, I know what it is anyway. Not where, yet. A tunnel over a stream of water. A stone bridge. What do the numbers mean? Probably nothing. Probably everything. Everything is so fucking cryptic anymore. Are there letters? Not in the numbers or the water. Dirt. Name. Mine? Austin. Au stin. aus tin.
a u s t i n
w
o
l
f
e thats my name
i'm so tired. should i call STacy? shedoesntwanttotalktome She'll just hang up.

I'm bleeding. Why am I bleeding? My arm...

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed...

I don't think what Stacy gave me was the book from the last video. Looked a little closer at the video and I can see a little blue object. I think I'll spend this week ldont let it touch you adamrun away austinit will hurt you why is it looking at me its moving in the shadows there are two there are one there are all of them in the sky at night at day dont try to pray my mind burns my stomach turns hide behind the door wait for it to pass there is something behind me why isnt it moving its getting closer dont touch me please dont touch me i dont want to die i dont want to diooking for whatever it was. Whatever it is, it must be fairly small if I could loose it this easily.

Diamonds

Went back over the video trying to see what was in the book. The first thing, clearly visible is "BLEEDING" with what looks like a blood drop in a diamond. The second has small little round shapes attached to long banana-like curves. I think there's also a moon on the other page.

One of the last pages he flipped to caught my attention.

It follows the diamond motif of the pages I saw, but it looks like a humanoid figure. I want to know how this fits in with Adam's death, but I just don't want to know what it all means. If that makes any sense.

Blogger is having issues that prevents me from posting comments, so I'll respond occasionally with a post. Somebody suggested in a comment for the last video to contact Stacy again. I would, but I think whatever she gave me when I was there was the absolute extent of her generocity. Maybe if I get the chance, I'll try to catch her outside again. Though, I haven't wanted to leave the house recently.

Dogs are barking.

Youtube

Getting tired of the tiny boxes. Made a youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHardestChoicevid

Apologize for the quality of some of Adam's videos.

Got this to work. I don't know where this is and frankly I just don't care anymore. This whole week I've felt lethargic and tired and just overall sick of the shit that's been going on.

I don't know why Adam went here or what connection the place has to anything. I don't know shit.

I was working on a video.

I don't know what the fuck is going on. I don't even remember this happening, it was just on my god damn camera. Who is that and what do they want?

Dreaming

Been having weird, and I mean really weird dreams. Last night I saw Adam, but there was something pulling him back. I couldn't see what it was. It was all blurry.

I've decided to work more on the videos. I don't have much else to do. If I can get this one to work, I'll post it later today.

I just woke up. The last thing I remember is going to bed on thursday.

Power must have gone out plenty of times. Most of the food in the fridge is bad. Going to have to get more grocieries.

I'm still tired...

Video Stop

Pretty much out of video. There are a few clips left, but I can't get them to work. I'll work on the pictures now.

I feel like I know this place somehow, but I guess with recent events, memory isn't even trustworthy.

I haven't been able to sleep well these past few nights. Something is going on, with what's happening with my and Adam's video. I'm worried about whoever the person is in the videos I've been finding. I guess all that's left now is to V0FLRSBVUA==

Stacy

I went to Adam's house today to talk to Stacy. Luckily she was outside, planting grass seeds I think.

I'm really worried now. What caused this? There's no reason this should've happened. I don't think Adam edited the videos anymore, and something bad is going on. I need to find out what.

Even stranger, I don't even remember what happens during the distortion. I think Stacy gave me something, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was or where I might have put it.

Not Completely Alone

Makes me feel a little better knowing someone is actually bothering to read this.

Every time I get another video to work, I question if I'm seeing what I'm seeing.

Power has been shutting off frequently. If it keeps doing this, the food is going to go bad.

Power's Out

Power went out this morning. It came back on for a little while, but went off again. I'm at a cafe right now. Feeling a little better.
Stacy isn't home right now. I'll try to talk to her in person later if I can catch her.

I also remembered the phone that was in the box. I'm going to pick up a battery for that soon.

Something went wrong with the last post. I guess maybe Blogspot's servers are having issues? Don't want to think about it.

Ideas?

I've been trying to make this image work for days now. No clue what to do anymore. I'm not very technical.

I've been feeling fluish all day. I don't know why, but the feeling of depression about Adam is being replaced by vomiting what's left of what I tried to eat. Maybe it's still depression.
Maybe it's depression combined with confusion. I don't know.

I think I'm going to try to go out in public soon. I've been inside for a while. Haven't even bothered trying to Y2FsbCBTdGFjeS4gSXQncyBub3QgbGlrZSBzaGUnZCB0YWxrIHRvIG1lIA anyway.

I don't even know why I post. It's not like anyone's actually reading this. But like I said earlier, I guess having an outlet can make you feel like there really is someone to talk to.

Personal Investigators, My Ass

Contacted the people involved in investigating Adam's suicide. They passed it off as self-edited videos that held no evidence that someone killed him. I don't buy it.

I've had a bit of a stomach ache today. Looking at these videos just makes it worse. I'll work on some more videos later.

God I am not in the mood to go feed my dogs right now.

Ran an actual video of Adam. I believe I'm the one holding the camera, I don't exactly remember. This is all the video I got, so I don't know who he's talking to.

I think I'm going to call the police tomorrow. There is no reason Adam would have edited this stuff into random videos, and even if he did, they wouldn't still be on the camera. All of this is starting to make my head hurt.

More Footage Off Adam's Camera

I'm really getting confused, which is just fucking perfect on top of all this suicide bullshit. I don't know if this was Adam screwing around or what, but I got another video clip to run.

I'm starting to wonder if someone encouraged Adam to do what he did. Did someone (or Adam) edit this?

Dogs

Went outside and messed around with my dogs, Larry and Murphy, today. Kind of makes me feel better about the whole thing.
Pets are well known as stress relief. I guess it's too bad Adam didn't have a pet.

Working On The Camera

A lot of the files on the SD card aren't playing. I've been fiddling around with them a bit. Most of what I can get to run is just video that we recorded together, with nothing too significant, however, some of them are like they're mislabeled filetypes, or were encoded wrong. Some of them are just...strange.

Adam liked to mess around a lot, but I'm almost positve that's us talking in the background. I don't really know if this means anything or not, it's just strange.

Fond Memories

Been trying to figure out this box all day. Who sent it? Did Adam mail it to me before he...ergh.

I remember, a few years ago, when I was 14, we were bike riding down a country road. We were getting close to his house, so we decided to race there. I hit a rock and went over the handlebars. I had the wind knocked out of me for the first time. It hurt a lot, and I could hardly think. He helped me back to his house, and we played Super Mario 64 for a few hours.

God. We had so much fun together. It's not fair. What right did he have to just...leave like that?

Stacy hung up on me again.

Adam Seburn 1990-2011

I don't exactly know why I'm posting this on the internet. I guess I feel like I don't have a friend anymore, and maybe someone out there will listen.


Adam Seburn is..was..my best friend. We knew eachother since we were about 11. Since grade school.


A week ago, Adam committed suicide. I didn't know why, he never acted any different than he had in the ten years I knew him. He stayed home for a few weeks, and not too long ago, his sister came to visit and found him. He'd hung himself.


I recieved a box in the mail today. It's a worn-out Dr. Scholl's shoebox, containing two papers, his camera, his cell phone and a gun.



The cell phone has no battery, and the gun appears to be non-functioning. The papers are yellow, one is blank the other says "THE HARDEST CHOICE IS THE SIMPLEST ONE". On the back it says "I AM SORRY AUSTIN". Er, my name is Austin Wolfe. I guess I should have mentioned that.


The camera doesn't even turn on. The SD card inside appears to only have a few files on it, but none of them will play correctly.

I've tried calling his sister, Stacy, but she told me she doesn't even want to talk to me. I don't know what I did to piss her off so much. It's not like I killed him.

It just.. To anyone out there reading this, if you've lost a loved one suddenly, you know how this feels. To know someone is there...to know that they'll be there, always...and then they're gone.

Christ. What fucking choice? What did he find so hard?