it's been a while. i thiink ive been asleep the whole time but im nOT sure. i looked around a bit more. found one of the cameras i used with adam. it didnt have anything on it. its been wiped at some point. could have been me could not have been. i havent had to think for a while but hwen i do it hurts. i took some of the pills to make sure i stay with it. i dont want to die yet. yet.

my internet comes and goes. all i seem to be able to access is this. no word from the outside world. does anyone know where i am. does anyone know what happened to karen seburn. has anyone that reads this heard anything please tell me.

it is still dark outside. my door still doesnt open. i cant stay here much longer. it hurts me every time i close my eyes i see the shadow. the tall man watches me type this right now. he is not always there.
the window opens. it is cold and there is wind but nothing is there. if they dont release me i wil have to go out that way.

i will walk until i stop walking

ngs are moving oddly. my thoughts are Not as collected. I have the pills but i don't know how effective they are anymore. i've been trying to take one a Day. i dont really know what a day is anymore. i have clocks but i don't think they go the same speed all the time.

i'm kind of scared but at the same time i'm not. i want to go home so much. it hurts To think I may be Trapped here and may not go back to Normal ever again. i want to cry but i cant. the longer i am here, the less i care. i havent been able to thINKstraigHT sinc i postEd the lASt video. it istill my room in a way, i can pretend i'm home. sometimes the tall man stands in my room and watches me. sometimes he gets closer and i go to sleep and forget for a while. sometimes the shadow stands behind him and whispers and my Head hurts.

i cant let them get to me though. i just have to pretend i'm home. i'm at home and the sun is shining and adam is going to call me to come out tonight and stacy is okay and karen is okay and i am okay he is getting closer.

I'm stuck in here. I've been stuck in here for a long time. i can't get out. this is my own room. but it's Different.

It's been dark since I got here. There is nothing outtsidee the window.I've opened it but there is nothing. I  do not feel air moving. do I even Need air? i don't need food. I haven't eatEN since I got here. i have not had Water to drink. i don't need it, yet. i haven't wanted it.

i don'

't know how Long I've been here. i think maybe a couple weeks, but it could be a month or more.there is electricity. the lights work, my computer workls. i don't know if the itnernwt works. I'm going to try to post this, but i am not sre if it will go through.

 my door does not open. i do not know if there is anything outside it, but it will not open. ive tried So hard to open it. It won't move. i;m trapped, but i think i'm okay for now.

 thi

I'm sorry for being gone so long.



I can't get out. I've tried so hard. I still have the folder. I'm not sure what good that will do me. I lost the gun but I still have the flashlight. I have power but not everything works.

Awake

So.. I took those pills. They were the same ones I was taking. I'm not sure if they were Stacy's or Adam's. The prescription label had been scratched off.

I remember very little from the past few weeks. I remember being in an abandoned building, Adam had hid there when he disappeared. I remember coming to this house, Stacy's grandmother's house. I'm guessing she moved in with her at some point after I.. after I died. I remember sleeping a lot. I remember living off of what little I took with me from the motel, and what I've found in this house.
Then there are large black spots. Spots that I was recording and posted. I've killed someone. ...i've taken a life. for no real reason. I don't even remember any logic I had behind it, if there was any.  And now I don't know what to do. I am a murderer and the evidence is on this blog, since I appear to have posted it. I won't take it down, though. I'm not going to run from what I did. I was not in my right mind, but I still did it. I should be punished. All I want is to figure this all out first.

I've only recently come to any sort of sense. I've been downing those pills for a few days, it seems like they take a bit to kick in if you've been off of them for a while. I haven't explored the house and I don't particularly want to. Judging by the videos, I know what is in the basement.
The only thing of note is the voices in the previous video. From what to can tell, they appear to be Stacy's voice. I haven't interacted with her for a long time, but I think I can remember her voice well enough. I honestly don't know if they were real at this point. I've had my thoughts come onto the camera before, like when I "met" Adam outside his house. What she/it/they said was pretty detailed though. "It was the shadow. It used him. It made something to fear. The tall man was Adam's. The shadow made it his own. Make the choice. You don't have any more options." If this is real..and I'm not imagining it.. What does it even mean? My memories aren't quite right, but if Stacy's post is to be believed, the man in the suit was Adam's idea and we were going to make a short film about it. Did this shadow thing make it come to life?

In any case, I'm tired of writing now. I'm going to go to sleep some more... I'll try to update after I look around, if I find anything. Just.. to anyone reading this.. I know I've done a horrible thing, but please don't try to alert anyone about this.. I will accept my punishment when it is time, but I need to figure this out. Please give me a chance to do that. I am horrible for what I have done, but for Adam and Stacy's sake, and for anyone else this may affect, I have to figure this out. I will accept my punishment when the time comes. If I escape the hell I've gone through, I will surely find Hell when I die.

I am so sorry, Karen Seburn.

still at the house

still here, everything is fine. found some pills, they might be the kind i NEed. hesitant to take them jusST Yet

its pretty nice here

i have a plan. I don't know how far this will get me, but it's one sttep closer to being done with all of this. or at least more comfortable

i need a better place anyway. its too cold here.

Notes

The notes I got from Stacy's grandmotherr. They appear to be made by Adam, as they match up with the drawings in the journal. And, well, because there's a note from stacy right on the back of one of theemm.

Austin - These are Adam's. He wanted me to have them.
The shadow says you should have them.
Austin don't try (t)o fight
Just run(?)

Adam gave these to sSTacy but the shadow wanted me to have them? Why did he give these to her in the first place? why would he get HEr involved? unlessS he gave them to her before he died? i don't know

This doesn't really help me aat alL. honestly its just pissing me off further. why is this getting more and more complicated and cryptic with every fucking new "clue" i FINd? why can't I just get a straight answer for ocne? i just want this to be over. i want to be home. I want to be home in my bed and not in this freezing building. i want adam to be alive and i want to still be friends with him and I want stacY to be alive too. why cant it just go back? please.

im not even sure being alive is worth it anymore. 

that is stacy's house. whether her grandmother lives there now or not, that is her house and there are things that stacy owned in that house. There have to be things that she had that are related to this. She might even have something of Adam's. I need to get into that house. but i cant as long as her grandmother is there.

i need a plan.

WenT to Stacy's house. complication. I have the notes though. I'll do what I can for now.

Hiding Out

it's pretty cold here. might even snow, not sure. sorRY I haven't updated much in the past couple of days. I try to use this thing as little as possible so I don't run down the batter.yy. haven'T been doing much of anything. Still going through that journal a bit. It's filled with drawings from Adam. Some make sense and are helping me PIece the puzzle together but some just don't make any sense or are indecipherable. also this thing doesn't have a usb port that I can use, so this flash drive is worthless to me right now. there's probably nothing super important on it, like always.

so about the pills. I really need some. I had them for headaches and nausea a year ago, but after a while, they developed another purpose. they kind of kept me.. steady. Not sure how that came about, but it did. I just know that I need them or things are going to get bad. i can't go back to the motel to get them. 1, they've probably cleaned the room out anyway and 2, no. just no. Not going anywhere that thing has been seen at. it's bad enough I have this drawing on the wall. the shadow is here. in this room. but I can't leave. I have to stay here for a while. at least until I figure out my plan in its entirety.

I came here for a reason. this is where ADam hid when he disappeared, before he killed himself. it's just some abandoned garage down the street from his house. nobody bothered to check. but this is it. I'm right where he was. but i know what I'm doing. across the road is stacy's house. well its her grandmothers house but she moved in last year. its where that video of her came from. they're not done with me, they didn't take her. she has to still be there. and Im gonna TALk to her. she has to know something. at the very least she has pills. adam did, i did, she has to as well. whatever happens, I need to get into contact with her again. just need to think of exactly what to say.

after I left the other night. had some issues. it'll be fine.

ran all night. didn't sleep. there have been some complications. think i found a good place to hole up for now.  pretty cold. had my camera on most of the way. will update later.

ITS HERE ITS OUTSIDE THE WINDOW IT FOUND ME I HAVE TO LEAVE

GETTING MY BACKPACK AND RUNNING

Answers

Walked for a while, tried to clear my head. I'm in a motel right now. Bought the room with my saved emergency money. I have about $56.23 left to my name. No other source of income. Food is going to be a problem. And these pills... Just picked up some more of them. I need them. I don't know what is going on, but I need them. When I don't, I feel.... weird. I don't want to get into it. I really don't want to run out of them.

So, answers. If anyone is still reading this blog, I'm sure answers are something you're looking for. I'm looking for them too.

Stacy got onto this blog about a year ago. She posted some things that..kind of come as a shock to me. The biggest shocker being that it was a year ago. The part where I died? Not so much.

A little more than a year ago, I started updating slower and slower. The truth is, I was looking more and more into that book. It had...things.. in it. Sometimes when I read it, I would eventually pass out. Sometimes, I would just put it down and walk around my house aimlessly. I had this all on camera. A lot of my older footage is gone. I also got some information from.. thoughts, I guess I could call them. They're not my thoughts though. It's the shadow.

I'm just as confused as you are, but I'm going to come right out and say what I know.
I know for a fact that I was in a state of mind that I wasn't merging my footage and Adam's. His footage was, however, appearing on mine, but through no editing of my own. Most of the videos I post here are unedited, save for cuts during long periods where nothing happens.
I know that I may have become delusional. But I know what I saw. There are things out there, and they're still there. The man in the suit, and the shadow. I don't understand either of them are, or what their goal is, but I understand what they're doing now. I've included some photos from the journal to back me up on this. All are from Adam, I think.


They have a choice. One they have presented to so many before. They spend weeks and months selecting their victim before they push them into insanity. As a reprieve, you are offered an out. They will allow you to end your life. Once you do this, you will be free of them, but they will move onto someone else. Your freedom for some other poor victim. The other option is to continue living with it. In horrible insanity, until you die of natural causes or finally put a bullet in your fucking head. You prevent someone else from dealing with it until you die. It basically determines whether or not you want to escape immediately or are kind hearted enough to put up with it to save someone else. Adam made this choice, but he wasn't strong enough to keep it away from me. I understand though. I'm not mad at him. ..I just miss him.

"I wish I could ask Austin. He could help.
But they don't let me talk to anyone.
The tall man says I'll have a choice to
make. I wonder what."

Choice -> Death/Eternal Agony.
"They say if I don't die I'll save (Austin)?
But I want to die."

Now, here's the thing. I don't remember making this choice, but I know I made it. And I'm alive right now, and posting this to the internet, so I'm alive. Without the pills... I can definitely see where the insanity part comes from. I need to stay on these pills, but I'm not going to be able to afford them for much longer... things are going to get bad.

The other thing - Stacy. I legitimately don't know what happened to her. By all that I know, you're supposed to know who the next person is, unless they decided to stop telling you. They never said anything about Stacy, I'm sure of that. I've tried calling her cell phone, but she must have a new one or it's dead or something. I need to know what happened to her. Once I get my bearings, I'm going to make my way to her house.

Now, that seems like a lot, but I really don't know anything else besides that. I got that information out of what little I could from the black book, and just what is in my memory. Something had to have happened to me after I made the choice. I died. I was buried. I don't know where, I'll have to ask Stacy, if I can. Or maybe I'll try visiting my mom. I'm honestly not sure which is going to be worse to endure. I'm back from the dead, after all. But yeah, dead. Legitimate death, I was buried in the ground under a gravestone.

"Bleed before death"

"PLEASE NO"
"I won't do it. You can't make me."

"I don't want to die."
"HE WaNTS Me TO"

"Tomorrow."

"Mom? Dad? Is that you? Please help me. I'm so scared."
"Today. Last call. I have the rope. I'm sorry Austin. You're next."

What appears to be a drawing of
a hanged man. The last drawing by Adam.

These entities, whatever they are.. surely I can find out more about them. Maybe I can stop them. Maybe they can't be stopped. I really don't know anymore. Need to talk to Stacy.

can't stay here. something has happened to me. there is a flash drive in my pocket and other files on this camera. will update when it is safe. need to pick up some more pills.

new

just got back from the store. picked up some supplies. new phone. new everything.

wake up