Wednesday, March 20, 2013


Walked for a while, tried to clear my head. I'm in a motel right now. Bought the room with my saved emergency money. I have about $56.23 left to my name. No other source of income. Food is going to be a problem. And these pills... Just picked up some more of them. I need them. I don't know what is going on, but I need them. When I don't, I feel.... weird. I don't want to get into it. I really don't want to run out of them.

So, answers. If anyone is still reading this blog, I'm sure answers are something you're looking for. I'm looking for them too.

Stacy got onto this blog about a year ago. She posted some things that..kind of come as a shock to me. The biggest shocker being that it was a year ago. The part where I died? Not so much.

A little more than a year ago, I started updating slower and slower. The truth is, I was looking more and more into that book. It had...things.. in it. Sometimes when I read it, I would eventually pass out. Sometimes, I would just put it down and walk around my house aimlessly. I had this all on camera. A lot of my older footage is gone. I also got some information from.. thoughts, I guess I could call them. They're not my thoughts though. It's the shadow.

I'm just as confused as you are, but I'm going to come right out and say what I know.
I know for a fact that I was in a state of mind that I wasn't merging my footage and Adam's. His footage was, however, appearing on mine, but through no editing of my own. Most of the videos I post here are unedited, save for cuts during long periods where nothing happens.
I know that I may have become delusional. But I know what I saw. There are things out there, and they're still there. The man in the suit, and the shadow. I don't understand either of them are, or what their goal is, but I understand what they're doing now. I've included some photos from the journal to back me up on this. All are from Adam, I think.

They have a choice. One they have presented to so many before. They spend weeks and months selecting their victim before they push them into insanity. As a reprieve, you are offered an out. They will allow you to end your life. Once you do this, you will be free of them, but they will move onto someone else. Your freedom for some other poor victim. The other option is to continue living with it. In horrible insanity, until you die of natural causes or finally put a bullet in your fucking head. You prevent someone else from dealing with it until you die. It basically determines whether or not you want to escape immediately or are kind hearted enough to put up with it to save someone else. Adam made this choice, but he wasn't strong enough to keep it away from me. I understand though. I'm not mad at him. ..I just miss him.

"I wish I could ask Austin. He could help.
But they don't let me talk to anyone.
The tall man says I'll have a choice to
make. I wonder what."
Choice -> Death/Eternal Agony.
"They say if I don't die I'll save (Austin)?
But I want to die."

Now, here's the thing. I don't remember making this choice, but I know I made it. And I'm alive right now, and posting this to the internet, so I'm alive. Without the pills... I can definitely see where the insanity part comes from. I need to stay on these pills, but I'm not going to be able to afford them for much longer... things are going to get bad.

The other thing - Stacy. I legitimately don't know what happened to her. By all that I know, you're supposed to know who the next person is, unless they decided to stop telling you. They never said anything about Stacy, I'm sure of that. I've tried calling her cell phone, but she must have a new one or it's dead or something. I need to know what happened to her. Once I get my bearings, I'm going to make my way to her house.

Now, that seems like a lot, but I really don't know anything else besides that. I got that information out of what little I could from the black book, and just what is in my memory. Something had to have happened to me after I made the choice. I died. I was buried. I don't know where, I'll have to ask Stacy, if I can. Or maybe I'll try visiting my mom. I'm honestly not sure which is going to be worse to endure. I'm back from the dead, after all. But yeah, dead. Legitimate death, I was buried in the ground under a gravestone.
"Bleed before death"
"I won't do it. You can't make me."
"I don't want to die."
"Mom? Dad? Is that you? Please help me. I'm so scared."
"Today. Last call. I have the rope. I'm sorry Austin. You're next."
What appears to be a drawing of
a hanged man. The last drawing by Adam.
These entities, whatever they are.. surely I can find out more about them. Maybe I can stop them. Maybe they can't be stopped. I really don't know anymore. Need to talk to Stacy.


  1. Austin? Is this really you? How can you be alive, it''s impossible. After a year you can't be alive!

  2. @silver_angel just noticed this, sorry. i'm at about as much of a loss as you are. part of me wants to say they were "holding me" for whatever reason. another wants to say they want me to pick the other option. to kill myself. most of me wants to say they're fucking with me. i dont really think standard rules of life and death apply around these things.

    1. At least you're alive; guess that's a good thing or it might not, not too sure in this situation.