Not Completely Alone

Makes me feel a little better knowing someone is actually bothering to read this.

Every time I get another video to work, I question if I'm seeing what I'm seeing.

Power has been shutting off frequently. If it keeps doing this, the food is going to go bad.

Power's Out

Power went out this morning. It came back on for a little while, but went off again. I'm at a cafe right now. Feeling a little better.
Stacy isn't home right now. I'll try to talk to her in person later if I can catch her.

I also remembered the phone that was in the box. I'm going to pick up a battery for that soon.

Something went wrong with the last post. I guess maybe Blogspot's servers are having issues? Don't want to think about it.

Ideas?

I've been trying to make this image work for days now. No clue what to do anymore. I'm not very technical.

I've been feeling fluish all day. I don't know why, but the feeling of depression about Adam is being replaced by vomiting what's left of what I tried to eat. Maybe it's still depression.
Maybe it's depression combined with confusion. I don't know.

I think I'm going to try to go out in public soon. I've been inside for a while. Haven't even bothered trying to Y2FsbCBTdGFjeS4gSXQncyBub3QgbGlrZSBzaGUnZCB0YWxrIHRvIG1lIA anyway.

I don't even know why I post. It's not like anyone's actually reading this. But like I said earlier, I guess having an outlet can make you feel like there really is someone to talk to.

Personal Investigators, My Ass

Contacted the people involved in investigating Adam's suicide. They passed it off as self-edited videos that held no evidence that someone killed him. I don't buy it.

I've had a bit of a stomach ache today. Looking at these videos just makes it worse. I'll work on some more videos later.

God I am not in the mood to go feed my dogs right now.

Ran an actual video of Adam. I believe I'm the one holding the camera, I don't exactly remember. This is all the video I got, so I don't know who he's talking to.

I think I'm going to call the police tomorrow. There is no reason Adam would have edited this stuff into random videos, and even if he did, they wouldn't still be on the camera. All of this is starting to make my head hurt.

More Footage Off Adam's Camera

I'm really getting confused, which is just fucking perfect on top of all this suicide bullshit. I don't know if this was Adam screwing around or what, but I got another video clip to run.

I'm starting to wonder if someone encouraged Adam to do what he did. Did someone (or Adam) edit this?

Dogs

Went outside and messed around with my dogs, Larry and Murphy, today. Kind of makes me feel better about the whole thing.
Pets are well known as stress relief. I guess it's too bad Adam didn't have a pet.

Working On The Camera

A lot of the files on the SD card aren't playing. I've been fiddling around with them a bit. Most of what I can get to run is just video that we recorded together, with nothing too significant, however, some of them are like they're mislabeled filetypes, or were encoded wrong. Some of them are just...strange.

Adam liked to mess around a lot, but I'm almost positve that's us talking in the background. I don't really know if this means anything or not, it's just strange.

Fond Memories

Been trying to figure out this box all day. Who sent it? Did Adam mail it to me before he...ergh.

I remember, a few years ago, when I was 14, we were bike riding down a country road. We were getting close to his house, so we decided to race there. I hit a rock and went over the handlebars. I had the wind knocked out of me for the first time. It hurt a lot, and I could hardly think. He helped me back to his house, and we played Super Mario 64 for a few hours.

God. We had so much fun together. It's not fair. What right did he have to just...leave like that?

Stacy hung up on me again.

Adam Seburn 1990-2011

I don't exactly know why I'm posting this on the internet. I guess I feel like I don't have a friend anymore, and maybe someone out there will listen.


Adam Seburn is..was..my best friend. We knew eachother since we were about 11. Since grade school.


A week ago, Adam committed suicide. I didn't know why, he never acted any different than he had in the ten years I knew him. He stayed home for a few weeks, and not too long ago, his sister came to visit and found him. He'd hung himself.


I recieved a box in the mail today. It's a worn-out Dr. Scholl's shoebox, containing two papers, his camera, his cell phone and a gun.



The cell phone has no battery, and the gun appears to be non-functioning. The papers are yellow, one is blank the other says "THE HARDEST CHOICE IS THE SIMPLEST ONE". On the back it says "I AM SORRY AUSTIN". Er, my name is Austin Wolfe. I guess I should have mentioned that.


The camera doesn't even turn on. The SD card inside appears to only have a few files on it, but none of them will play correctly.

I've tried calling his sister, Stacy, but she told me she doesn't even want to talk to me. I don't know what I did to piss her off so much. It's not like I killed him.

It just.. To anyone out there reading this, if you've lost a loved one suddenly, you know how this feels. To know someone is there...to know that they'll be there, always...and then they're gone.

Christ. What fucking choice? What did he find so hard?