I'm sorry for being gone so long.



I can't get out. I've tried so hard. I still have the folder. I'm not sure what good that will do me. I lost the gun but I still have the flashlight. I have power but not everything works.

Awake

So.. I took those pills. They were the same ones I was taking. I'm not sure if they were Stacy's or Adam's. The prescription label had been scratched off.

I remember very little from the past few weeks. I remember being in an abandoned building, Adam had hid there when he disappeared. I remember coming to this house, Stacy's grandmother's house. I'm guessing she moved in with her at some point after I.. after I died. I remember sleeping a lot. I remember living off of what little I took with me from the motel, and what I've found in this house.
Then there are large black spots. Spots that I was recording and posted. I've killed someone. ...i've taken a life. for no real reason. I don't even remember any logic I had behind it, if there was any.  And now I don't know what to do. I am a murderer and the evidence is on this blog, since I appear to have posted it. I won't take it down, though. I'm not going to run from what I did. I was not in my right mind, but I still did it. I should be punished. All I want is to figure this all out first.

I've only recently come to any sort of sense. I've been downing those pills for a few days, it seems like they take a bit to kick in if you've been off of them for a while. I haven't explored the house and I don't particularly want to. Judging by the videos, I know what is in the basement.
The only thing of note is the voices in the previous video. From what to can tell, they appear to be Stacy's voice. I haven't interacted with her for a long time, but I think I can remember her voice well enough. I honestly don't know if they were real at this point. I've had my thoughts come onto the camera before, like when I "met" Adam outside his house. What she/it/they said was pretty detailed though. "It was the shadow. It used him. It made something to fear. The tall man was Adam's. The shadow made it his own. Make the choice. You don't have any more options." If this is real..and I'm not imagining it.. What does it even mean? My memories aren't quite right, but if Stacy's post is to be believed, the man in the suit was Adam's idea and we were going to make a short film about it. Did this shadow thing make it come to life?

In any case, I'm tired of writing now. I'm going to go to sleep some more... I'll try to update after I look around, if I find anything. Just.. to anyone reading this.. I know I've done a horrible thing, but please don't try to alert anyone about this.. I will accept my punishment when it is time, but I need to figure this out. Please give me a chance to do that. I am horrible for what I have done, but for Adam and Stacy's sake, and for anyone else this may affect, I have to figure this out. I will accept my punishment when the time comes. If I escape the hell I've gone through, I will surely find Hell when I die.

I am so sorry, Karen Seburn.

still at the house

still here, everything is fine. found some pills, they might be the kind i NEed. hesitant to take them jusST Yet

its pretty nice here

i have a plan. I don't know how far this will get me, but it's one sttep closer to being done with all of this. or at least more comfortable

i need a better place anyway. its too cold here.

Notes

The notes I got from Stacy's grandmotherr. They appear to be made by Adam, as they match up with the drawings in the journal. And, well, because there's a note from stacy right on the back of one of theemm.

Austin - These are Adam's. He wanted me to have them.
The shadow says you should have them.
Austin don't try (t)o fight
Just run(?)

Adam gave these to sSTacy but the shadow wanted me to have them? Why did he give these to her in the first place? why would he get HEr involved? unlessS he gave them to her before he died? i don't know

This doesn't really help me aat alL. honestly its just pissing me off further. why is this getting more and more complicated and cryptic with every fucking new "clue" i FINd? why can't I just get a straight answer for ocne? i just want this to be over. i want to be home. I want to be home in my bed and not in this freezing building. i want adam to be alive and i want to still be friends with him and I want stacY to be alive too. why cant it just go back? please.

im not even sure being alive is worth it anymore. 

that is stacy's house. whether her grandmother lives there now or not, that is her house and there are things that stacy owned in that house. There have to be things that she had that are related to this. She might even have something of Adam's. I need to get into that house. but i cant as long as her grandmother is there.

i need a plan.

WenT to Stacy's house. complication. I have the notes though. I'll do what I can for now.